Sunday, July 15, 2012

To Don Pardo

"TO DON PARDO"


POOH WASN'T YOUR ORIGINAL SHIT WAS IN YOUR ART WORK.
IT WAS DUPLICATED AND THAN A.A. MILNE WAS LIBELED.  WATCH
OUT WHO YOU QUOTE PIARDO "POOH STINKS MORE THAN SHIT."
SAYS STINKY THE BEAR.

Radioactive Shit


"Radioactive Shit"

An old timer told me Indian Point was going to be located on David's Island in New Rochelle on the Sound.  Imagine not only having shit come ashore on the beaches, but also radioactive shit.  Luckily, the proposal was shot down.  I never heard that most interesting fact before - not only nuked fish but nuked shit too!

J. Billet's

Poo bear?


who bear?
poo bear?
would you fly anywhere?
would you dare?
eat the pear?

why do you stare-oh pooh bear?
I had a dream
that bears could fly
like fuzzy piƱatas in the sky

and when they land
it’s with a thud
dirty poo bears in the mud!

A Lip Sync


 "A Lip Sync"

When I Was Born, The Doctor Spanked Me. 
I Swore At Her In Yiddish And Began Reciting Poetry And Philosophy I Had Discovered.
To Hell With Crying.
After All, I'm Not Dying.
A Real Yankee Noodle Dandy Born On The 4th Of July.
A Red, White, And Blue Firefly Danced By High In That Midnight's Sky As My Heartbeat's
Raced By.

By Jonathan Billet

I Am Stinky Pooh


"I Am Stinky Pooh"

I am Stinky Bear Pooh.  In summer's heat, I hibernate in a freezing icebox house with about twenty other of my bear friends and family members.  It reminds me of when humans used to take refuge in their bomb shelters during a nuclear bomb drill.  Instead of commies, we are afraid of the heat.  Hypothermia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Sunstroke, even!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Well we will have to wait for this unbearable heat to stop and Consolidated Edison of New York to turn the power back on.  To go off strike, so to speak.  In the meantime, the emergency generators are working just fine.  We watch the emergency channels to watch how the outside world is doing.  When I get out of this hell's icebox, I'll wear my knickers and hat and suck on my lollipops.  I know that as an adult juvenile I get people annoyed because I don't really look like a child, yet I get dressed up in children's clothing during the rest of the season.
In the winter, I hang out on the ocean's icebergs.  Slipping and searching for fish under the ice.  You see, I'm a ice-breaker. Love to break the ice with the female bears.  I migrate from New York to the Arctic just to get to the North Pole's Miami Beach.  The humans go to Florida for the Winter.  I'm a real time traveler, not a fellow traveler.  I'm really just a romantic roamer, a land rover.
When I jet back to New York in the spring I like to watch life renew itself.  It's time for me to come out of the woods and go through the garbage pails in suburbia.  Watch the creepy suburbanites run away in fear for their lives.  Think I'll go to Yellowstone and maybe even Canada on my spring break.  I'm really just a rambling gambler.

By Jonathan Billet

Memorandum To Field Agents


"Memorandum To Field Agents"



Finding These People Is Like Hunting Baboons In The Amazon.

We're Obviously Getting Nowhere.

Watch Out For These Natives With Their Poison Darts.

Take The Subjects Out.

They're Very Likely Substance Abusers.

Possibly A National Security Risk.

Liddy G. Gordon
Operation Cesspool   

I Cried Wolf


"I Cried Wolf"


"I’m Such A Sorry Loser That I'm The Crying
Wolf Who Cries Wolf."


J. Billet

The Burpees


“THE BURPEES”

YOU CAN CONTRACT BURPIES.  THEY ARE LIKE THE HICCUPS
  
IN THAT THEY YOU CAN’T GET RID OF THEM.  LIKE YAWNS


THEY ARE CONTAGIOUS.  THEY SPREAD AND REPEAT THEMSELVES.



THE BURPPIES ARE A CATASTROPIC AND A NEWLY TRANSMITTED



RARE DISEASE.  PLEASE DO NOT COME IN CONTACT WITH ANYONE



WHO IS A CARRIER OF THIS DANGEROUSLY INFECTIOUS DISEASE.


SINCERELY,
ELMER J. FUDD – M.D. F.A.C.S. 
SURGEON GENERAL OF THE UNITED STATES

Butterflies Grow In Trees


“Butterflies Grow In Trees”



Butterflies grow in trees and flashy lights can be found under the seas.  Lemonade sap can be found 


above in exotic teas.  Aromas can be smelled in trees.  The You and I can be found in a mountain’s 


blue sky.  On mountain peaks, snow reeks of fresh air.  There’s no despair because there’s plenty more 


confetti up there.  Miles of smiles and years of tears of dream’s nice paradise float in the air.  What’s 


unfair cannot compare with a circle’s triangle, rectangular square.  Not even my damsel’s fair hair, 


which is as peachy as a pear.



God, forgive me for sometimes forgetting who you are.  I can’t remember what took place in last 


night’s late dream.  I fed the living, not the dead.  I bled red air, unlike the sky that sails by.  A flying 


sky child, I’m in an absolutely awkward position, with my head in the clouds and my mouth to the sea.


EKG’s lines jump down and up and fluctuate like stock market prices.  Pregnant women will give birth 


like a stock gives dividends.  I pace back and forth, rolling on the floor, laughing and quoting the stock 


prices to my hedge fund. 


By J. Billet’s – A money maker

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Tremors


"Tremors"



There are serious tremors in the atmosphere occurring all the time.

When an earthquake, or a tsunami hit, it's nothing compared to the chaos happening up there.

Stars are born and die in the heavens.

Such a pain, are the doors and floors and escalators that lead to heaven.

I thought something was going on.

What happened to our heavenly love?

J.Billet's  06/27/12

To Bobby


"To Bobby"


Mystical, magical flutes to go along with your guitar.

You fiddle with my heart's banjo strings.

Now there is more needed for true harmony.

A mouth to sing with and lungs to breathe from.

More instruments please!

Bass and violin.

Drums with percussion.

Dig your tattoos like your music's colors.

Your words travel through space inside ears, opened where they listen to you
play your tunes.

Always underneath above on a summer's Junes' silver
 moons.


Jon Billet

Living Life



"Living Life"



Just talk to myself and cry.

Aromas hit a real emotional spot.

I'm not ready to fly.

Sigh and die.

Really an old barfly named Jon.

A small fry.

Losers always lose and winners never win.

The political spin -

in my washing machine.


Jon Billet

Sand Storm


"Sand Storm"



The line between sanity and insanity is razor sharp and is not visible to average eyes.  Only a few talented people can see the difference.  I want to be one of them.  A, B, C, D, 1, 2, 3, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V. D. C: B. C: A. C: P. C:  A. D: B.C.E: D.D.S: C.I.A: F.B.I. : Get up and fly like a jet in the sky. Cry Mama Cry.  By And Bye.  Please don't die getting high on my whiskey and rye.

I'm as blind with my glasses as without them.  The lights are dim and I have a diseased set of eyes - making everything look pink.  I wouldn't be able to see the difference between a Steve and Charlie, even if I knew it.  A rock or a tree, a squirrel or a cat, even if I knew them.

The greatness of our lives is their vast eternities in our dreams’ realities.  Dreamt I was in a desert walking in fine, white, sand that was up to my knees, with drifts over my head.


Jon Billet Dedicated To J.W.