I Am Stinky Pooh

"I Am Stinky Pooh"

I am Stinky Bear Pooh.  In summer's heat, I hibernate in a freezing icebox house with about twenty other of my bear friends and family members.  It reminds me of when humans used to take refuge in their bomb shelters during a nuclear bomb drill.  Instead of commies, we are afraid of the heat.  Hypothermia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Sunstroke, even!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Well we will have to wait for this unbearable heat to stop and Consolidated Edison of New York to turn the power back on.  To go off strike, so to speak.  In the meantime, the emergency generators are working just fine.  We watch the emergency channels to watch how the outside world is doing.  When I get out of this hell's icebox, I'll wear my knickers and hat and suck on my lollipops.  I know that as an adult juvenile I get people annoyed because I don't really look like a child, yet I get dressed up in children's clothing during the rest of the season.

In the winter, I hang out on the ocean's icebergs.  Slipping and searching for fish under the ice.  You see, I'm a ice-breaker. Love to break the ice with the female bears.  I migrate from New York to the Arctic just to get to the North Pole's Miami Beach.  The humans go to Florida for the Winter.  I'm a real time traveler, not a fellow traveler.  I'm really just a romantic roamer, a land rover.

When I jet back to New York in the spring I like to watch life renew itself.  It's time for me to come out of the woods and go through the garbage pails in suburbia.  Watch the creepy suburbanites run away in fear for their lives.  Think I'll go to Yellowstone and maybe even Canada on my spring break.  I'm really just a rambling gambler.

By Jonathan Billet